In this era of mobiles and laptop sets, we are used to sitting alone in a room, trying to find company in the virtual world. Our happiness depends on someone else’s moods and actions. We live in the age of exhaustion, we wake up tired, we meet up at expensive restaurants only to discuss how great our superficial lives are. We want to be left alone, but still feel sad about the people who forget our birthdays. We care, yet we don’t care. We like wandering around the streets alone, we are not afraid of coming back to an empty flat or lying down on an empty bed. We are yet afraid of having no one to miss, no one to love. We want to love, we want to be loved. Our souls aren’t empty; they are desperate to be understood.
When you get lonely some days, learn your way around loneliness. But never use another person’s body or emotions as a medium to satisfy your unfulfilled desires. You came into this world alone. People and things will keep you occupied, but you need to recognize your needs and prioritize your happiness.
Focus on only one thing, and that one thing is you. You’ll be content and everything would seem peaceful. Learning to be alone does not mean you don’t learn to get into relationships. You should build healthy relations, be with people who make you happy, but emotional dependence or otherwise is not healthy. ‘We don’t own anybody, so we don’t lose anybody. True freedom is experiencing everything, without owning it.’ Stop holding on to people, holding grudges and resentments. There is no point demanding attention from people who don’t support you during a crisis; no one owes you anything.
Another reason why people aren’t independent is because they are too attached to their pasts. Past experiences, good or bad, have to be recognized and let go. Make memories, don’t stick onto them, because the past is gone, the ink is dry. Move on. Learn from every experience and make memories.
You need to believe in yourself so strongly that the world believes you even with their eyes closed. You don’t need anybody, but yourself to achieve everything you’ve ever dream of. Adopt an open mindset, have an honest relationship with people. Have meaningful and constructive bonds, ones which help you grow as a person.
Controlled loneliness is like a double edged sword, being too dependent on other can rob us of our true intimacy and being too self reliant can be destroy our relationships. We need to balance self reliance with optimum interdependence.
About Carson Derrow
